A filthy environment is a place nobody likes to be in. No matter who you are and how much you hate cleaning up, anything can get up to a point where you have to start tidying up the place – but some people take a little bit longer to go past that threshold.
So, what do you do when someone else isn’t cleaning up and you’re always the one with the broom in your hand? You ask for help, of course!
You can always say “Could you give me a little hand cleaning up?” even if you haven’t made a mess at all. “Look, can you clean up after you’re done?” is a little bit more direct, but sometimes necessary.
If you’re worried about a bad response, you can always be a little bit more careful about it – in a non-confrontational, indirect way -, that’s always a good way to do things.
How to politely tell someone to clean up after themselves?
Lead by example
The very first thing you should do when you want people to clean up after themselves is to clean up after yourself!
This might seem pretty straightforward, but a lot of people do not realize they are leaving a trail of dirt and filth behind them – and you don’t want to be the guy that’s both guilty and pointing fingers at the same time.
Make sure you have the moral high ground before you ask people to do the right thing. Most of the time, when someone sees you cleaning up, they’ll start doing the same.
Make sure that your role model function does not turn into the opposite, for example by starting the vacuum cleaner at inappropriate times.
Be kind
A kind word goes a long way, especially when it’s chore-related.
“Could you do me a favor? Could you clean up before you move on to doing other things?”
A short explanation like this could be the difference between being living in filth and having a clean room.
Then again, you don’t want to be the guy that’s constantly asking people to clean after themselves – but sometimes you have to be. If you end up repeating yourself, you can be kind and put your foot down at the same time.
“Look, I don’t want to be the bad guy here but we need to keep things clean”
Something like this is the perfect way to do this. Keep in mind you don’t need to go nuclear if someone forgets to pick up after themselves, sometimes people forget to clean up – especially during the stressful times we’re living!
Keep things non-confrontational
Don’t turn something simple into a full-blown battle. There’s no need to do that. Even though you might feel upset, you need to cool down before you ask something like this. You might end up with pent-up anger from seeing everything dirty – so take a deep breath!
Think about it like this: you have to ring the bell before you decide to kick the door down. You might salvage the door that way – or in this case, your relationship with whoever isn’t picking up after themselves.
Don’t make it about someone specifically
To keep things non-confrontational, you need to avoid addressing people specifically. You want to avoid things like “you’re always leaving a mess” or “you never clean anything”.
What’s the point of doing this, even if you would be right on calling someone out like that? It will get you nowhere. It’s also rude. It’ll probably end up with both parties extremely upset – not only that, the place will still be a mess because nobody is going to clean anything!
Make it about uncleanliness in general
Try to make a point about the situation in general and avoid pointing fingers. What you want to do is say something like “the table is filthy, maybe we should clean things up a little bit”.
Whatever it is you say, keep in mind the tone you use. You don’t want to come off as passive-aggressive, you want to sound neutral.
Body language does help as well: “this table is filthy” while looking at someone might come off as aggressive – but “this table is filthy” while you start cleaning, is completely different.
Explain why cleaning up is important
If you decide to take a more direct approach and talk one-on-one about the specific situation, it’s always good to explain why we need to pick up after ourselves. There’s no reason to treat anyone like a child, but a good reminder of why hygiene is good never hurts.
For example, if the kitchen is a mess, you can explain why it’s important to keep plates, knives, and the like as clean as possible at all times (that’s where bacteria accumulates, rust dulls knives, etc).
Prepare a basic speech if you’d like, but don’t go over-prepared
If you take everything listed so far, you have more than plenty to go with when you have to ask someone to pick up after themselves. You don’t have to use everything listed, but they are all good weapons in this battle.
Remember that you don’t want to perform a monologue, you’re simply asking someone to clean up their mess. Be kind, be non-confrontational, and be brief.
If you can keep your head cool when you ask, then it’s not necessary to prepare anything. But if people leaving a mess and not cleaning up makes you upset, you might want to rehearse a little bit before you do what you have to do.
If necessary, roll with the punches
After you have asked someone to clean after themselves, things can get a little heated no matter how polite you were. This is normal. Don’t take it personally. People can feel attacked or hurt after you ask – even if you were right to ask in the first place.
No matter what they say, roll with the punches. Don’t engage in the confrontation. Sooner or later that person will calm down and see that you were right.
What to do if someone doesn’t listen when you ask them to clean up after themselves?
First of all, don’t get upset
There are countless reasons why someone won’t pick up after themselves. They might be dealing with a stressful situation, they might’ve been brought up that way, or they might have a higher tolerance to dirt than you. It doesn’t matter. You need to stay calm to win!
If staying calm is getting harder and harder, try to remove yourself from the situation for a while, breathe, and come back. Because you’ll have to deal with it sometime – and you’ll have to be calm and polite to do so.
Don’t budge and ask again
The second worst thing you can do is give up and start to clean up after other people. There’s no reason for you to do that! You have to keep asking and, eventually, you’ll get what you rightfully want – which is living in a clean environment!
If someone doesn’t pick up after themselves, try to see how you approach the situation. If your approach fails, try to figure out why it failed and how to make it work. Maybe you have to put your foot down a little more, perhaps you have to be more direct.
You might be unable to get someone else to clean up because after you ask, you end up budging and cleaning up someone else’s mess yourself. Don’t self-sabotage yourself like that!
Try to come up with a system that makes everyone happy
If asking someone to pick up after themselves over and over again isn’t workout out like you thought it would, it might be time to think outside the box. If it’s a roommate situation, you can leave the chores in writing. If the clean-up time comes after a party, you should agree beforehand on who is going to help once the party is over.
Whatever scenario you find yourself in, you can always figure out an angle where other people cannot escape from cleaning up as they should.
If someone refuses to clean up and you can all afford it, you can budget a cleaning service and make everyone happy.
Try to see if there’s an underlying issue at hand
Most of the time we can only see what’s ahead of us. That means we won’t get to see what underlies the issue at hand. Whoever is not picking up after themselves might be in a tough spot for multiple reasons and you might want to sit down and see what’s up.
It might help you understand that other person better, you might be able to help them fix their issue, and that could be how you get them to clean up after all – by listening!
What not to do when someone refuses to clean up after themselves?
Engage in a “dirtiness war”
If someone doesn’t clean up after themselves, you should strive to make the situation better. The only way to make it worse is by not cleaning up after yourself.
Don’t turn a small situation into a full-blown let’s-see-who’s-dirtier competition. That’s shooting yourself in the foot.
Take it personal
If someone doesn’t clean up after themselves, it’s not against you. It’s who they are – you shouldn’t take it personally. Don’t make a big deal of something that’s not. The minute you start to take things personally is the minute politeness starts to fade away. That’s not what you want!
FAQs
How do you politely tell someone their house is dirty? ›
- Tell Them in a Nice Way. Don't just walk into someone's house and start pointing to all the areas that need to be clean. ...
- Acknowledge Their Strengths. ...
- Be Positive. ...
- Encourage Completing Small Tasks. ...
- Be Kind and Compassionate. ...
- Help in Little Ways. ...
- Understand the Cause.
It might mean you are busy and have little time to clean and organize. It might be a sign that you have too much stuff. Or it might be the result of having young kids in the house who are usually not motivated to clean up after themselves.
Why is cleaning up after yourself important? ›Asking children to tidy up after themselves provides your child with not only responsibility but also accountability. They need to clean/care for the utensils and space that they are using and to keep their space clean.
How do you enforce cleaning at work? ›- Create a Cleaning Maintenance Plan. ...
- Make Cleaning Products Accessible to Everyone. ...
- Let Employees Organize Their Desk. ...
- Encourage Employees to Clean Their Workspaces. ...
- Designate Waste/Recycling Systems. ...
- Set Standards for Bathroom/Lunchroom Etiquette. ...
- Tie Cleanliness to Safety. ...
- Conclusion.
- Ease into the task. Suddenly thrusting a cleaning chore onto a child can cause friction. ...
- Give them a hand to start. It may not be helpful to clean the entire room for them. ...
- Provide specific tasks. ...
- Give them praise. ...
- Consistency is key.
Confronting Your Roommate. Be honest and straightforward. Be as specific as possible about the messiness that you find difficult to live with. For example, if the dirty dishes piled up in the sink are making your blood boil, try asking, "Could you try to wash your dishes after you've used them?"
What do you do if your partner is a slob? ›- Communicate and negotiate. ...
- Establish 'neat' and 'messy' zones. ...
- Let your smartphone be the nag. ...
- Figure out what's behind the mess. ...
- Don't take it personally. ...
- Spring for a housekeeper. ...
- Remember why you're together.
Offer positive reinforcement
Many couples fight over chores, yet few take time to point out how much they appreciate each other's effort in keeping a clean house. You can help your husband stay motivated to take care of his household chores with the power of compliments and recognition.
Ask repeatedly for things to be cleaned. Make a list of things to be cleaned. Tell him why it was personally important to me, given my background, to have a neat house.
How would you describe an unclean home? ›The short answer here is that you have a dirty house if it is unsanitary, meaning there is mould in the home, unwanted pests are being attracted, or there are lingering unpleasant odours. This is different from a house that is simply messy, meaning that there is a lot of clutter or disorganization.
Do clean up after yourself? ›
The whole phrase is saying something like "Do not make a mess" or "leave this room clean when you are finished with what you are doing."
How do you tell someone not to come? ›- Polite and compassionate honesty is the best solution.
- Go with the obvious and simple response.
- Explain your notion of preferring to have your own peace at home.
- Create an alternative.
- Be honest but stay safe.
- Don't deflect blame.
- Tell them why you're not currently having houseguests.
- Suggest other options of places to stay.
- First and most importantly, don't force it. ...
- Assume a ZERO JUDGMENT stance. ...
- Set a realistic final goal for the home. ...
- Hit the most important areas first. ...
- Take care of you during the process.
Unhygienic is one word.
What does clutter say about a person? ›Clutter in the living room might suggest blockages in your social life, as well as your relationship with yourself, while a cluttered bedroom might relate to issues surrounding your sexual self, fears of intimacy or gender roles.
What's another word for cleaning up? ›Find another word for clean up. In this page you can discover 14 synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic expressions, and related words for clean up, like: tidy-up, tidy, cleanup, neaten, clean, straighten, defragmentation, straighten out, square-away, shutdown and null.
Why are some people messy? ›Psychology says that messiness can indeed be a sign that a person is having trouble. Just like someone who is suffering from OCD and has to control everything, being a messy person might show that they are dealing with depression or some other mental illness.
How does clutter affect mental health? ›Clutter can affect our anxiety levels, sleep, and ability to focus. It can also make us less productive, triggering coping and avoidance strategies that make us more likely to snack on junk and watch TV shows (including ones about other people decluttering their lives).
Do and don'ts for housekeeping in office? ›- Keep desks organized. The desk is usually a place where papers and documents are cluttered. ...
- Food can cause odors or stains. Sustenance is important, and you cannot stop employees from eating. ...
- Clean all electronics regularly. ...
- Restrooms should be as sanitary as possible.
Is it a legal requirement for an employer to clean an office? While there is no direct law that focuses specifically on cleanliness, employment law dictates that all employers have a duty of care for their staff.
What is cleanliness in simple words? ›
Definition of cleanliness
: the quality or state of being clean : the practice of keeping oneself or one's surroundings clean Though a stale remark, it can hardly be said too often, that personal cleanliness is one of the necessary agents to health …—
Cleanliness gives rise to a good character by keeping body, mind, and soul clean and peaceful. Bathing is very crucial for everyone. We need to take a bath at least once a day to keep you healthy. Cleanliness prevents dangerous infectious diseases by keeping away microbes, germs, mosquitoes, and other pathogens.
What is effective cleaning? ›Effective cleaning must occur before sanitising, as sanitisers may not work as well if the food contact surface or utensil has not had all visible contamination removed. Cleaning is often achieved with detergent, water and agitation, with the visible dirt and detergent then rinsed and removed with clean water.
How do you deal with a messy teenager? ›- DON'T violate their privacy. It's your home, so you may feel you have a right to enter their bedroom at will and tidy up after them. ...
- DO avoid focusing on their mess. ...
- DON'T let things go too far. ...
- DO consider bribery.
- Adjust your expectations. Face it: you won't be able to get your teens to do all the chores you want them to do. ...
- Come to an agreement. ...
- Be absolutely clear. ...
- Have sensible consequences. ...
- Require basic hygiene. ...
- Be a good example. ...
- Don't micromanage. ...
- Keep your cool.
Something like: Thanks, this is really great - it's so nice to come home to a clean house! If not, be honest with them about how you feel, but still thank them - it may ruffle some feathers but thanking them softens the blow a little. This means that they will understand it's not OK, and hopefully desist.
How do you hold roommates accountable for chores? ›Create a cleaning schedule or chore chart.
A simple chore chart with weekly or monthly chore assignments can keep everyone on track and accountable. Just make a list of all the chores that need to be done and assign each to a roommate along with a due date.
The best way to deal with this is to approach the problem with empathy. Focus on the person compared to the 'stuff. ' Be there and set achievable goals, and help your roommate find professional help if they need it.
How do you get your roommate to do chores? ›- Step one: Get on the same page about your standards. ...
- Step two: Make a complete chore list. ...
- Step three: Divvy up the chores. ...
- Step four: Agree on accountability. ...
- Step five: Say thank you.
It's always best to bring it up in a very casual but polite way: “Hey, if you wouldn't mind, I'd be so grateful if you could get to those dishes in the sink,” while also acknowledging the fact that you know they're busy.
How do I tell my roommate to be quiet? ›
- Try To Talk About It Before You Move In. Giphy. ...
- Make A Game Out Of The Conversation So Things Aren't Tense. Giphy. ...
- Don't Wait Too Long To Speak Up. Giphy. ...
- Be Flexible & Open To Compromise. Giphy. ...
- Always Come From A Positive Perspective. Giphy.
“It is important for roommates to do their own dishes in order to respect the mutual space(s) that you share. I have no problem if your room is dirty and disgusting because those things are, 'out of sight, out of mind,' however, common areas are just that, shared spaces between roommates.”
Is a messy partner a deal breaker? ›A new poll by YouGov ranked cleanliness (or lack of) as the biggest deal-breaker in relationships. 71% of respondents said their partner's uncleanliness would make them uncomfortable. People were more concerned about their partner's cleanliness than their intelligence.
How do I accept a messy partner? ›- Try to see things from your partner's point of view. ...
- Write down a list of the things that really bother you. ...
- Schedule a weekly or monthly couples meeting. ...
- Establish a process of negotiation. ...
- Don't forget to praise each other.
- Choose Your Battles Wisely. Giphy. ...
- Accept That Habits Don't Change Overnight. Giphy. ...
- Make A Chore Chart. Giphy. ...
- Keep Your Expectations In Check. Giphy. ...
- Don't Forget About Positive Reinforcement. Giphy.
- Talk to him. ...
- Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime. ...
- Don't be a control freak! ...
- Choose chores he'll want to do. ...
- Do a little at a time. ...
- Appeal to his charitable side. ...
- Outsource!
There could also be unrealistic expectations — or unequal expectations — about who is expected to clean and do the chores. Either way, being intentionally messy is simply a sign of disrespect. This tension caused by living with someone who is not doing their fair share can be improved with meaningful conversations.
How can I get my husband to clean up clutter? ›- Partner with your spouse. Your husband is the perfect problem-solving partner. As you said, he doesn't like the clutter either. ...
- Create custom clutter zones. You have the right to live in spaces that are clean and functional. ...
- Offer to work with him. Grab your husband and work together.
- Keep the scope of the problem small and the tone relaxed. ...
- Be very careful in your use of terms. ...
- Share your good intentions. ...
- Limit the scope of the problem. ...
- Keep the discussion private. ...
- If it's feasible, try to give the other person an out.
Make a list of the chores you absolutely hate and refuse to do. Ask your partner to do the same. Then compare your lists. Your partner might be able to tolerate the job you can't stand (or vice versa) and that chore will belong to them.
What is classed as a messy house? ›
For housing it would be: In disrepair, dirty, cluttered and unhygienic, adults needs for safety, warmth and entertainment come first. Dangerous disrepair- but could be repaired easily (exposed nails, live wires). Long term ingrained dirt.
Why do some people not clean their house? ›It might mean you are busy and have little time to clean and organize. It might be a sign that you have too much stuff. Or it might be the result of having young kids in the house who are usually not motivated to clean up after themselves.
How often should you clean bedrooms? ›It is advisable to declutter, dust, wipe, and vacuum your bedroom once a week as you don't want to face a serious build-up of grime, viruses, and bacteria. Also, you should change your bedding every seven days to ensure you get a good night's sleep. Certain areas you can tackle less frequently.
How do you tell an employee to clean up after themselves? ›- Break Room Cleanliness Memo. ...
- Customize Incentives and Rewards. ...
- Explain Your Rationale. ...
- Hire Out the Big Jobs. ...
- Make It a Job Requirement.
Asking children to tidy up after themselves provides your child with not only responsibility but also accountability. They need to clean/care for the utensils and space that they are using and to keep their space clean.
What does it mean to clean up after someone? ›/kliːn/ to remove dirt or problems that someone has made: I'm fed up with cleaning up after you all the time.
How long should relatives stay at your house? ›Dr. Paul Hokemeyer has a practice specializing in marriage and family counseling based in New York City. He maintains that the ideal amount of time for a stay is "three days and two nights.
How do you tell someone nicely? ›- Some people repeatedly breach people's boundaries just because they feel it's OK, no harm… they have “permission” to do so. ...
- Don't get emotional or vague – get your facts right. ...
- Choose calm time – explain why you feel bad. ...
- Be very clear – this has to change.
- Put Witty Reminders in Problem Areas. Most of the time, people don't mean to be messy. ...
- Use Visual Reminders. ...
- Try a Little Bit of Pressure. ...
- Hire a Commercial Cleaning Company. ...
- Stress the Importance of a Clean Office. ...
- Schedule a Cleaning Day.
- cleaning your body every day.
- washing your hands with soap after going to the toilet.
- brushing your teeth twice a day.
- covering your mouth and nose with a tissue (or your sleeve) when sneezing or coughing.
- washing your hands after handling pets and other animals.
What is cleanliness freak called? ›
Germaphobes are obsessed with sanitation and feel compelled to clean excessively, but they're really suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.
What's another word for clean freak? ›Neatnik comes to mind: Neatnik (n) A stickler for neatness or cleanliness. Show activity on this post. An obsessive-compulsive personality.
What is the root cause of clutter? ›Behavioral/psychological: Clutter caused by depression, attention deficit disorder, low self-esteem or lack of personal boundaries. Time/life management: Clutter caused by the need for better planning. Of these, the behavioral/psychological-driven clutter is the hardest to solve.
How do you help someone declutter? ›- Here are some things I've learned:
- Often, people want you to witness their appreciation for a possession. ...
- Use gentle language and re-framing to help people let go. ...
- Be a quiet, helpful presence. ...
- Point out people's reactions. ...
- Make sure you both have the same vision.
- tidy-up. To make clean. ...
- tidy. To make things clean or orderly: ...
- cleanup (related) ...
- neaten. To make neat; arrange in an orderly. ...
- clean (related) In a clean or nonpolluting manner: ...
- straighten. (Intransitive) To stand up, especially from a sitting position. ...
- defragmentation (related) ...
- straighten out.
How To Say Clean Up - YouTube
What does clutter say about a person? ›Clutter in the living room might suggest blockages in your social life, as well as your relationship with yourself, while a cluttered bedroom might relate to issues surrounding your sexual self, fears of intimacy or gender roles.
How do you deal with a messy person? ›- Know they're not doing it on purpose. ...
- Work out your non-negotiables. ...
- Compromise a little. ...
- Draw up a cleaning chart/schedule. ...
- Go shopping together for home organisational things. ...
- Purchase items that make cleaning easier/more entertaining. ...
- Ask them to keep their mess to their corner.
People with depression can often find themselves living in messy spaces. This is because feelings of hopelessness, low energy, and lack of motivation can make it hard to keep on top of everyday tasks, such as tidying.
What are the 5 stages of hoarding? ›- Clutter, but no concern. ...
- Deteriorating hygiene, possible hoarder. ...
- Extreme disorganization, likely disorder. ...
- Excessive clutter & behavior, contact professionals. ...
- Severe unsanitary conditions, hoarding diagnosis.
How do you write a memo to staff about toilet cleanliness? ›
Describe the problem in the most general terms only; for example, you might say, “The cleaning staff has mentioned that the third-floor restrooms have required more cleaning than usual recently. Please remember to properly dispose of all waste, and notify the custodial staff if there are any immediate issues.”
How do you deal with a messy coworker? ›- Seek to understand the underlying issue. ...
- Encourage a recycling program. ...
- Move away from paper processes. ...
- Have a regular office cleaning day. ...
- Conquer clutter with the box method. ...
- Have a conversation. ...
- Relocate the employee. ...
- Article By,
A clean desk policy (CDP) is a corporate directive that specifies how employees should leave their working space when they leave the office. Most CDPs require employees to clear their desks of all papers at the end of the day. In the past, implementation of a clean desk policy was at discretion of the management.
What do you understand by cleanliness? ›Definition of cleanliness
: the quality or state of being clean : the practice of keeping oneself or one's surroundings clean Though a stale remark, it can hardly be said too often, that personal cleanliness is one of the necessary agents to health …—
Workplace Restroom Hygiene
Provide toilets with hand soap, toilet paper and hand drying towels or equipment. Prompt your workers to practice personal hygiene after using the facilities. Some businesses hire an external cleaning service to attend to the restrooms.
The overall purpose of good sanitation is to provide a healthy living environment for everyone, protect the natural resources such as surface water, groundwater, and soil, and provide safety, security and dignity for people when they defecate or urinate.
How do you use a toilet properly? ›Step 1 – Sit directly onto the toilet seat – do not stand or squat on it. Step 2 – Use the toilet paper provided to wipe away excess waste and throw it in the dustbin provided. Step 3 – Flush the toilet with your hand to remove waste from the toilet.
How do you deal with unorganized people at work? ›...
Don't:
- Coddle. Help your employee grasp the impact of their disorganization and the consequences it has on the team.
- Keep your own organizing strategies to yourself. Share how you stay on top of things with your employees.
- Be impatient.
- Communicate frequently. ...
- Monitor your thoughts. ...
- Share your point of view. ...
- Focus on opportunities. ...
- Perform small acts of kindness. ...
- Seek to understand. ...
- Highlight victories. ...
- Assume positive intent.
The act basically states that employers are legally bound to ensure that employees are looked after at work and cleanliness of the workplace would come under this. Cleanliness falls under health and safety because not maintaining this can lead to a range of different problems.
Does a messy desk mean a creative mind? ›
According to the findings, people with messy desks tended to be more extroverted and welcoming to others. A messy desk indicates a creative mind but not much in the way of follow-through. A messy desk tends to indicate that the person is busy and that is why they have not cleaned up their desk.
How do I start a clean desk policy? ›- Document your clean desk policy. Include it in your employee handbook or information security policy.
- Communicate the policy. ...
- Hold everyone accountable. ...
- Provide alternatives. ...
- Assign responsibility for enforcement. ...
- Limit hard copies.
Cleanliness gives a fresh and good look to our surroundings. Wearing a cleaned and ironed clothes protect you from skin infections. Cleanliness minimizes the entry of rats, cockroaches, and other parasitic worms or insects. Cleanliness gives rise to a good character by keeping body, mind, and soul clean and peaceful.
Who is responsible for cleanliness? ›Participating in the 'Swachh Bharat Abhiyan', veteran Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) leader L.K. Advani on Thursday said that people should understand that cleanliness is the responsibility of every citizen and not just the government.